(Note: To anyone who might have been bothered by the language in the first post, I apologize I should have made notice for you. I will let you know now, I won’t be swearing like that every post, but there might be more that feature some salty language. If that’s not your bag, I totally understand.)
So,
Where was I? That’s right, big plane, funny wombat, bossy lady next to me. So I was feeling pumped and ready to go, I had a backpack full of snacks, trades galore, and a mini-computer full of ; music to keep me entertained…Well none of that shit mattered because this damn plane had everything: tunes, TV shows and movies galore. THIS PLANE HAD EVERYTHING. I never felt more over prepared to have fun stuff to do on a plane. To give you an example, the in-flight selection had every film nominated this year except ‘The Social Network’. So I did what any rational person would do, gripe for 5-seconds about not being able to watch ‘Flash’ DVD’s and then check out ‘The King’s Speech’.
Sean, if you’re reading this…Yes, that shit was good, REAL GOOD. Better than ‘Social Network’? Honestly can’t say they’re two totally different films, but ‘King’s Speech’ is awesome, especially because of Geoffrey Rush who owned every scene he was in.
So great, I kill two hours of my 9-hour flight. Yay for minor success! You’re probably now asking yourself, what did Toby do to kill some more? WATCH ANOTHER MOVIE! This time I chose another academy award winning film, and personal Wayne Campbell favorite, ‘Winter’s Bone’.
The flick was good, but I stopped it a few times because I could feel myself getting tired. It didn’t help that the woman next to me was picking other films I wanted to watch, so I’d find myself multi-tasking between watching the ‘Bone’, failing at napping, and just plain sitting around. Well somewhere in the middle of the movie, I got my second wind and finished the shit out of it.
Mom, sidenote, I think you’d dig this flick, it’s harsh but very solid.
We were given drinks and these weird paper like ‘veggie crisps’ that I ate as I was watching the movie, it’s bad because it led me to eat what I really wanted, my gosh darn ‘Goldfish’, which probably led me to look like this on the plane.
At this point they were dimming the lights in the plane, and I took it as a good sign to get some much needed sleep…
What a waste of my f’n time.
It was literally impossible, sleep was not an option, and no matter how many times I tossed in turned my ass could not fall asleep. And then I notice something that confuses the heck out of me, I look to my right everbody’s passed out, I look to my left everybody’s passed out…except the movie lady next to me. Who is wide awake and super into the movie she’s watching (‘Afterlife’ by the way) So I’m trying to both sleep and watch the ending of this movie, even though I don’t know what’s going on, and I’m failing miserably.
Well ‘Afterlife’ finally finishes and I’m like great let’s turn off these lights and close my eyes…
No, now it’s time to watch the 1980’s Lawerance Kasden classic, ‘The Accidental Tourist’…F’ffffffffffffff.
I was getting frustrated, I had no idea how anybody could get shut eye, and I’m tossing and turning and never getting comfortable. I kept wishing I had someone I knew next to me so I could sleep on the shoulder, and not feel guilty about it.
So I did something I normally would never do…watch ‘Harry Potter’. Eddie told me the intro on this new flick was insane, so I decided to check it out, and it was! I was kind of enjoying it, but my eyes were killing me. So I turned it off and tried reading ‘Takio’ but that lasted for 8 pages before my body said, “What the shit are you trying to do to me, get to sleep’. So I put away my book, closed my eyes. Then after what literally felt like a minute, I opened them up and it was morning outside…
It was Troll 2 everybody…
(See Troll 2)
They gave us breakfast and I began to wake myself up. We had a little less than two hours till we get there and I decided to watch another movie…so shoot me what else was I gonna do?! I chose ‘Afterlife’ after being incredibly intrigued as Neverendingmoviedoesn’tneedsleep Lady watched it. It was pretty solid, but in what felt like moments, we were getting an overhead message telling us we were getting ready to land.
HOLY SHIT.
This is it.
I got all my shit packed and sat there eagerly. The landing was clean but it took us a moment to get out, only building up the anticipation of getting the heck off that plane. When I did, I waved by to Helen Mirren’s Little Sister, I’m sure she knew why ; ).
It was a bit chilly but I was eager to get to the baggage claim. I found myself in this sorta-race with one of the other passengers, and we kept fast walking but the bastard took on the flat escalators and I couldn’t catch up. I kept moving and finally did catch up, and eventually got into the lead, until we came to an area where I could see the entire airport. I stopped, took a deep breath, looked around and took a picture. The bastard quickly walked past and took the lead. But at that point, it didn’t matter, I was here.
I quickly reached customs and got in line. It flew and I found myself being helped by a young British lady. She proceeded to ask questions about myself and the intentions of my trip. Obviously this is a face to be scared of…
It was going off without a hitch until she asked me where I was going. Here’s the recorded transcript:
Sassy British Lady: Well where are you going?
Me: Well I’m visiting my friend.
Sassy British Lady: Well where does she live?
(I stare at her in confusion and as if she caught me with my pants down)
Me: I don’t know, she said she was just going to meet me here and take me to her place.
Sassy British Lady: Well do you have her number?
Me: Well yeah but I can’t call her (Verizon doesn’t go that far people!!)
(Intense Sassy British Lady state)
Sassy British Lady: …Well I’m gonna let you go on this time, but you need to know exactly where you’re going so we have an idea of where you’ll be.
Me: Yeah, I’m sorry…
Ughhhh I already got scolded and I wasn’t off the flight for 5 f’n minutes. But whatev’s my passport got stamped and I rushed over to baggage claim. It was pretty busy, but not as busy as I’m sure it can be since it was pretty early in the day. I waited just for a little bit and my giant roller complete with neon green strap, Dexter and Tucson pins, popped onto the baggage carousel. My ass was out of claim as soon as I had it in hand. I walked towards the exit opened the door and looked around me. The first exit lead to a fragrance store (weird right) and then to the main exit/entrance. I got excited when I heard some of the employees started talking to each other with their accents. It’s the little things people!! When I got to the main exit, entrance I saw a lot of people waiting for others. And a lot of limo drivers holding signs for what I thought might be rich and important people. But then I turned to my right and saw the best thing ever…Aissa waiting for me in here PJs!!! We gave each other a big hug and she told me she called a taxi to take us to here place. As we waited we got a picture of us in Heathrow, it felt like a lil success haha. Aissa and I had to go upstairs to meet the taxi man, who also seemed a bit sassy and was running late.
I was shocked when he showed up in a regular car, with no obvious taxi characteristics other than his license plate. I wondered if the dude was just bored one day and decided to play taxi.
Well Aissa gave the dude directions on how to get to her place, but he insisted on following his Nav Phone which took us another 30 min. to get home, it was kind of a blessing in disguise. I got to catch up with Aissa and get a quick look at London. Let me tell you…
THAT SHIT WAS AMAZING.
Huge old buildings everywhere! Insanely hip clothes and food stores everywhere! Pretty girls in absurdly trendy raincoats everywhere! This shit was blowing my mind.
Aissa apologized, but this was awesome I was seeing parks, and the museums and a corner of Buckingham palace all within a matter of moments. And it was a perfect way to say ‘Hello’ to this place. When we finally got to Aissa’s flat, I was so excited by how awesome it was. (There’s even a sweet balcony!) Totally a perfect place for young cool people to live!
Aissa’s fiancé Sian was waiting for us and she cleaned up (which she didn’t have to do) and Aissa gave me a quick tour. Then being the saints they are told me to take a nap in there bed, I refused politely but Sian sympathized with my inability to sleep on the place. And told me to get in there and relax. And with logic like that how couldn’t I?
Let me tell you.
Heaven.
I passed the f’out and didn’t look back.
I woke up about 5 hours later. Aissa took a nap as well because she didn’t get much sleep and we were both feeling groggy but good. I’d say I was a happy troll now.
It was then I decided to make the smartest decision ever…a long hot shower.
If there was anything that woke me up, it was that. I was back and ready to roll.
We were all super starving and decided to get some foodz. So how were we going to get into London to find something delicious?
By the tube that’s how!!
So we went underground and I got this thing called an oyster card, which is like a week pass on any form of public transportation, super handy to help you get around.
We went even further downstairs and waited, I couldn’t stop thinking about one of my favorite movies, Nimrod Antels ‘Kontroll’ which is about the underground subway station in Budapest. It looked so cool and there were ads everywhere, even one for a new sequel to ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, called ‘Love Never Dies’ which is also by Andrew Lloyd Webber.
The tube came and the girls told me I have to be aggressive to get in sometimes because people push and stuff because like a tourist I let a few people pass before me. I can’t help it! Anyways it was sweet I kept looking outside and seeing dark and then fast moving lights pass by, it reminded me of another description from ‘Kontroll’ how they would call the train, the worm because it literally felt like we were traveling through the ground. The tube was short and sweet and we soon found ourselves in London.
The girls told me how their favorite place was ‘Hard Rock’ which was one the first one ever built! They usually go there and celebrate on pay day after a long hard week of work. We chilled at the bar for a lil bit and got some drinks, it didn’t take long for this to happen…
That's right, Loosey Goosey Toby.
…And this only because I hadn’t had much to eat since Airplane Dinner (Which was beef brisket by the way). When we out our table we were ready to order and jammed to 90’s songs on the TV until the food got there.
It was kind of poetic in a way, the kind of music Aissa and I listened to when we were kids was playing loudly when I visit her so many years later.
The food came and it kind of felt like this...
We had some tequila shots to celebrate and big smiles on our faces. Leaving I was feeling that really good full, where you feel content and not bloated, it felt perfect! So night was still young (I found out a lot of bars close at 4 am! Why are we not doing this in the states! There was this shady ass place that closes at 9 am though, and I heard that place was crrraaaaazzzzaaaay) We decided to take a bus…double decker bus that is! First ride we stayed at the bottom. Second connection, I asked politely if we could chill at the top, we did, and yes it was f’n SWEET!! I wanted to do this...
We ended up stopping at their favorite bar/club, Joiners, which Aissa informed me is mentioned in the Bloc Party ‘On’!
It was crazy, Aissa and Sian knew the bouncers and bartenders. The crowd was all from all over, young and old, working and students, there was this crazy Orthodox Jew guy who kept hitting on all the chicks, it was awesome. Everybody just wanted to let go. It kind of reminded me of Congress which was comforting. We got a couple drinks and danced to this awesome DJ (Matt McCoy you would have dug this guy haha!!) It got crazier when the DJ started playing late 90’s/early 2000’s jams, Aissa and I were freaking out! (Still poetic right?!)
In the middle of the night, we decided to take a small break and Aissa and I start catching up about everything else going on. It was a lil tough talking but I wanted to let her know what was going on. She understood everything. I told her how grateful I was that her and Sian let me stay with them and show me around. We kept joking about how long I’ve been talking about this and she let me know she was really happy that it’s finally happening. And then she asked me a big question: something that literally brought some tears to my eyes. I’d like to blame the alcohol but I can’t it was too honoring.
She asked me to be a Best Man at her wedding.
I gave her the biggest damn smile and hug and greatly accepted.
AWESOME RIGHT?!
Fun times were all around. Everybody was drinking and dancing, the bathrooms were unisex and super packed, the bouncers asked me about gun control in AZ, and some girl grabbed me and breathed on my glasses haha! Crazy good! Next thing we know it’s 10 min. to 3, and we gotta peace. Amada Kelley would appreciate this but the DJ closed with Wham’s ‘Everything She Wants’, SOOO GOOD!!!
We took a black cab home, which was fancy and purty cool. When we got back to the flat we played some Wario Games on the Wii (Beleney I had to make me on Mii but I’m pretty darn sure I got it almost exactly to yours except the eyes, I can’t remember what they looked like.) We played till like 4 or 5 in the morning.
We all realized once again it was time to get our sleep on. But I gotta tell you, as I mentioned before…
For first days…THIS ROCKED.
I’m here now, and I’m ready to make the most of it. Hopefully along the way I find what it is I’m looking, whatever that might be, and experience the adventure I know this will be.
Hello England, my name is Toby Canto, and this has been a long time coming.
Till next time,
Toby
Can't wait to see some pics.
ReplyDeleteglad the king's speech was good man. i've been thinking about seeing it
ReplyDelete